Never before has a close friend of mine hurt me as much as someone did this weekend. I would have never believed he could do something like this, and then send an email to me explaining what happened.
This person has been a friend forever, and he knew exactly what he was doing. I don't care about any excuses. Don't send me an email saying, "I know I screwed up, I left my phone, etc." I'm not in 5th grade, and neither are you. You knew exactly what you were doing, you didn't "forget" or just lose track of time. And to go where you did? I wouldn't have cared if you did anything else, and I wouldn't have minded. But to go see her?
Honestly, this is one of those things I will never, ever forget.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Eat Lunch Alone?
I enjoy eating lunch by myself sometimes, and I don't find it weird!
Some people at my work find it odd that I enjoy going downstairs to the food court, or somewhere else, and have lunch by myself. I love getting away from work, and bringing a book or newspaper, and just being by myself. I spend all day sitting at a desk around people, after riding the L packed both ways to work. During the day I just never get a chance to sit and think without being hounded by people. I have my Blackberry on me, Outlook loaded, AIM and Yahoo Messenger up and running from 8 till 5.
I like the fact that lunch gives me a chance during the day to just be able to think about things. I solve more problems sitting by myself at lunch than I do during the other hours of the day, there's just something about being able to just sit and not have to talk and listen to someone for an extra hour of the day. There are a few people around the office that I really enjoy having lunch with; however, there are days during that I just need to take the time away from everyone. My boss and I have lunch every other week on Wednesday, and they are seriously the worst lunches I've ever had. I really like my boss as a boss, nothing more. He's great, he's very supportive, and really wants me to succeed and has taught me an incredible amount about our business. BUT, we have absolutely zero in common - and he has zero social skills. We've known each other for almost a year and a half, and when we talk, it's still in question/answer form. We could not be more different outside of work, so we really have nothing to talk about other than work - and I don't want to talk work at lunch! Granted, I am pretty fortunate that I am able to get out of the office for an hour a day to even have these worries!
PS - Tomorrow's a big day for someone!!!
Some people at my work find it odd that I enjoy going downstairs to the food court, or somewhere else, and have lunch by myself. I love getting away from work, and bringing a book or newspaper, and just being by myself. I spend all day sitting at a desk around people, after riding the L packed both ways to work. During the day I just never get a chance to sit and think without being hounded by people. I have my Blackberry on me, Outlook loaded, AIM and Yahoo Messenger up and running from 8 till 5.
I like the fact that lunch gives me a chance during the day to just be able to think about things. I solve more problems sitting by myself at lunch than I do during the other hours of the day, there's just something about being able to just sit and not have to talk and listen to someone for an extra hour of the day. There are a few people around the office that I really enjoy having lunch with; however, there are days during that I just need to take the time away from everyone. My boss and I have lunch every other week on Wednesday, and they are seriously the worst lunches I've ever had. I really like my boss as a boss, nothing more. He's great, he's very supportive, and really wants me to succeed and has taught me an incredible amount about our business. BUT, we have absolutely zero in common - and he has zero social skills. We've known each other for almost a year and a half, and when we talk, it's still in question/answer form. We could not be more different outside of work, so we really have nothing to talk about other than work - and I don't want to talk work at lunch! Granted, I am pretty fortunate that I am able to get out of the office for an hour a day to even have these worries!
PS - Tomorrow's a big day for someone!!!
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Back and At Them
So I've had nothing but Internet/cable problems lately combined with work and play - I've been really crappy at writing! I've really missed it a lot, so I'm going to pick it back up!
So last night was just a hodge-podge of my friends all hanging out. Friends from High School, work, and Ms. Teacher's friends all met up and went out drinking. One aspect I was really looking for to was Ms. Teacher meeting my best friend Henne's girlfriend. They've been dating for over a year - but she lives in St. Louis, and so they haven't crossed paths prior. My friend is actually out of town, so he wasn't even going to be there for this! But we went to the Blue Frog Bar, and had a great time. The bar's this little place that holds about 60 people, and has pretty much every board game ever available to play. Ms. Teacher won CandyLand, the BF's GF won Sorry!, and we got kicked out before we could finish Battle of the Sexes due to a private party starting at 10:00.
The girlfriends meeting is a pretty big situation I think. I couldn't imagine if Ms. Teacher and her didn't get a long. I don't even know how that would affect my friendship with Henne (luckily they got along wonderfully). I don't think Ms. Teacher realized how important of a meeting it really was. I think it's true for everyone, but I feel that if one of my closest friends was dating someone that I, or Ms. Teacher actually, didn't like - it would be a bad situation for us. It would suck to have to put on a "happy face" whenever we went out with them. Luckily though, all my friends date girls that click with all our other friends.
One of my friends from grade school used to date a girl that all of knew wasn't good for him. Naturally, he put zero stock into what we were saying - I can't actually blame him though, since I don't know if I would listen to my friends about a girl I was dating. Eventually, my friend and her parted ways, and only then did he actually acknowledge that we were right all along.
The evening was a blast though, save for the fact my friend used to date another of mine and Ms. Teacher's friend - and he was super awkward at the bar around her again...mainly because his current girlfriend is NOT a big fan of the ex, even though it's been YEARS now since they dated!!!!!
So last night was just a hodge-podge of my friends all hanging out. Friends from High School, work, and Ms. Teacher's friends all met up and went out drinking. One aspect I was really looking for to was Ms. Teacher meeting my best friend Henne's girlfriend. They've been dating for over a year - but she lives in St. Louis, and so they haven't crossed paths prior. My friend is actually out of town, so he wasn't even going to be there for this! But we went to the Blue Frog Bar, and had a great time. The bar's this little place that holds about 60 people, and has pretty much every board game ever available to play. Ms. Teacher won CandyLand, the BF's GF won Sorry!, and we got kicked out before we could finish Battle of the Sexes due to a private party starting at 10:00.
The girlfriends meeting is a pretty big situation I think. I couldn't imagine if Ms. Teacher and her didn't get a long. I don't even know how that would affect my friendship with Henne (luckily they got along wonderfully). I don't think Ms. Teacher realized how important of a meeting it really was. I think it's true for everyone, but I feel that if one of my closest friends was dating someone that I, or Ms. Teacher actually, didn't like - it would be a bad situation for us. It would suck to have to put on a "happy face" whenever we went out with them. Luckily though, all my friends date girls that click with all our other friends.
One of my friends from grade school used to date a girl that all of knew wasn't good for him. Naturally, he put zero stock into what we were saying - I can't actually blame him though, since I don't know if I would listen to my friends about a girl I was dating. Eventually, my friend and her parted ways, and only then did he actually acknowledge that we were right all along.
The evening was a blast though, save for the fact my friend used to date another of mine and Ms. Teacher's friend - and he was super awkward at the bar around her again...mainly because his current girlfriend is NOT a big fan of the ex, even though it's been YEARS now since they dated!!!!!
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Teaser Post
I know I haven't written anything since Monday, and I apologize for that - STOP EMAILING ME! I'm kidding, I find it funny that people who don't know me will write and ask if everything's okay since I haven't posted as regularly lately.
This past week had a lot of "issues" for me, as did this weekend. But hopefully I should have a couple new things to in the next couple of days.
This past week had a lot of "issues" for me, as did this weekend. But hopefully I should have a couple new things to in the next couple of days.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Bears Monday Night Game
Monday night - Bears at St. Louis. I've decided that since so many of you wish you could watch this game with me and H-E-Double N-E, I'm going to keep a running log of the first half. It's now 6:30 PM - 1 hour before kickoff.
6:30
Cracked the first Busch Light, watching Around the Horn on DVR. I hate Jay Mariotti a whole lot (JaytheJoke.com is a phenominal site). Woody Paige sucks, he sucks worse with Skip Bayless, but on ATH he just annoys me. JA Adande's probably in my top 3 of the show, and Bob Ryan's just a crotchety old man. He's kinda sucked ever since he made that comment about Jason Kidd needing to slap his wife.
6:45
Rachel Nichols on ESPN for an update. I honestly cannot decide if she's hot or not. I have no doubt that I would sleep with her if I was given the chance, but I really can't say she's hot. She's kinda weird looking, but there's something about her. Theismann would call it her "X-Factor"?
6:55
My roommate and a coworker of mine just showed up with 3 bags of McDonald's between them. It was like watching a nature video where they throw the chum in the water to attract the sharks. We also discussed how our fantasy basketball league has 10 teams, and I do not have a single player in the top 25 in stats. Which is bullshit because Iverson is killing me. Actually, the 76'ers are killing me - TRADE HIM OR PLAY HIM YOU A-HOLES.
7:27
Jack'd Up is now on. I really liked this segment last year, but now it's jut played out to the extreme. Tom Jackson & Michael "it ain't mine, it's my brothers. But not my genetic brother, I mean my fellow black guy brothah" Irvin should never be allowed to talk on TV, take the marbles out of your mouths for the next segment would ya? For God's sake, it's like listening to a foreign language. Steve Young must want to kill himself every single week. Now on Busch Light 2, and no sign on Henne. I'm thinking about ditching him to go to the bar...
7:30
What the fuck is Barrack Obama doing on ESPN? For fuck's sake. I hate him. Why doesn't he get his ass to Washington DC and actually do something other than campaign? He's just such a smug a-hole. He's a slightly darker Joe Buck. Nice, this is followed up by the crappy Belushi brother opening the show. So far - this game sucks.
7:35
Rex Grossman has more turnovers than 12 teams? Well done. I wish Joe Theissman would die. Henne just got here, holy shit. Suzy Kolber is not meant for HD, although...hell of a mullet you're growing there. Henne just pointed out that the mascot at the coin-flip was the mascot for the Post Dispatch (the St. Louis major newspaper). Okay.
7:44
Busch Light 3 - pizza has been ordered. Henne brings up that I still haven't beaten Gears of War after our all nighter. This may be corrected during the weekend. 10 yard completion to Thomas Jones, then a 15 yard taunting penalty. Bears fever, catch it!! Bears first third and long...Grossman hit as the throws, and thank you Jesus it lands on the ground. Henne reminds me of the time we drove down to STL for a Bears/Rams Monday night game and this a-hole sat behind us and just screamed out "URLACHER!!!" after every play. I hated him. We then listened to the Big Willey Style CD as we were stuck in a parking garage and watched two people make out for like 2 hours.
7:48
Walmart commercial on: Henne points out that TV's aren't more expensive at other stores, but it's the fact that Walmart feeds off the souls of little children and poor Democrats in crappy small towns that allows them to sell them so cheap, I love Republicanism. I remember why I wanted to watch this with him. Sweet hoodie "Big Game" Holt, thanks for dressing up for the player intro's
7:53
A skyline shot of STL without the arch being visible? It has to be file footage that they Photoshopped to make it look HD. Grossman scrambles for 20, Theissman points out, "that's how he will get out of this funk. He'll take the ball out of his arm." Do we have Vick or Vince Young as QB suddenly?
7:59
Robbie Gould - no good on the FG attempt. Awesome. Time to go get pizza and stiff the homeless person outside to make myself feel better
8:15
Here's what went through the Domino's employees head when I said my name, "oh shit...totally forgot the cheesy bread." There's nothing like sitting in a Dominos because the stoner behind the counter ate my cheesy bread. I'm now about 20 minutes behind on the DVR. So don't tell me what happens.
8:23
Grossman almost sacked, throws a random pass. Again, happy that it just bounces on the ground. "Gould has never attempted a 50-yard field goal in his career, and this would be 53 yards, so the Bears will punt." How in the hell is he supposed to ATTEMPT HIS FIRST ONE if you don't let him kick?
8:29
Stephen Jackson just ran directly into number 54, and was just stopped dead in his tracks. Also - college cheerleaders = Niiiiice; pro cheerleaders = Argh!! Pro broads look so made up. 4 and 1 on the 20 - Henne says no going for it for the Rams, I say they do.
8:33
They go for it, and convert to the 1. Fuck you Henne. Rams touchdown. 99 yard drive. Ouch. Henne, "With Bruce and Holt as receivers how can this team lose?" The long snapper then botches the extra point snap. That's how.
8:36
That Levi's commercial where the dude steals the jeans off the balcony railing. Those pants must belong to the chick's boyfriend. Hester returns the kick-off for a TD. The "U" baby. Okay, so why did the guy who was screwing the chick not have pants when he leaves? Why are the pants magical? So she just nails the one dude, he leaves as the boyfriend arrives, she then acts all sexy to the boyfriend? And the boyfriend and the "other man" wear the exact same pants size? Nothing about that makes sense to me. That chick is a dirty tramp FYI.
8:41
Wow, the NBA's going back to the old ball. Add that to my list of things I'm thankful for this Christmas... Gus Ferrotte is the Rams' back-up QB? That's unreal. Belushi's in the booth? That's bullshit. He sucks. I wish my brother was a hilarious, comic genius who loved blow a little too much. This game's insane.
8:50
Henne, "That's our number one raft pick right there - Ty Hill." Two seconds later, Benson just bowls over Hill. This launches Henne into a tirade about the Rams' owners. I'm really happy he's so bitter. Belushi's rambling on about how the Cubs' should be winning it all this year due to them spending money. I hate him even more than I thought possible. Quick slant to Berrian, and DAMN HE FAST. Touchdown Bears. 14-13 Bears. Beer time!
8:54
"The fucking game's in St. Louis, and the only press box host they could find from the city is the World Series trophy, and JIM BELUSHI?" We both agree that's an awesome slap in the face that the World Series trophy, and a huge Cubs' fan were in the same room. I hope it made Jim cry. That Playstation 3 commercial with the baby scares the SHIT out of me. That baby's creepier than the Mazda "Zoom, Zoom" kid, and the mirror chick with the elephant for DLP TVs.
9:02
I'm a huge Bears' fan, but that was a fumble from Grossman. This stupid ass rule is ridiculous. If it doesn't look like a pass, then it was a fumble. The pass looked like it went backwards anyways! QB's are so ridiculously protected. You should be allowed to slap people who have signs that spell out ESPN, or FOX, or CBS. I don't know if people hold up signs for NFL NETWORK since we don't get it. If I won the Lotto, I'd create a network called, "BigHomoHere" just to stop people from making those signs.
9:13
Halftime, and wow - Chris Berman, not meant for HD. And Henne needs to go study since he's a lazy ass bum that's still in college. Granted he's going for a Master's of History, but still - get a damn job.
6:30
Cracked the first Busch Light, watching Around the Horn on DVR. I hate Jay Mariotti a whole lot (JaytheJoke.com is a phenominal site). Woody Paige sucks, he sucks worse with Skip Bayless, but on ATH he just annoys me. JA Adande's probably in my top 3 of the show, and Bob Ryan's just a crotchety old man. He's kinda sucked ever since he made that comment about Jason Kidd needing to slap his wife.
6:45
Rachel Nichols on ESPN for an update. I honestly cannot decide if she's hot or not. I have no doubt that I would sleep with her if I was given the chance, but I really can't say she's hot. She's kinda weird looking, but there's something about her. Theismann would call it her "X-Factor"?
6:55
My roommate and a coworker of mine just showed up with 3 bags of McDonald's between them. It was like watching a nature video where they throw the chum in the water to attract the sharks. We also discussed how our fantasy basketball league has 10 teams, and I do not have a single player in the top 25 in stats. Which is bullshit because Iverson is killing me. Actually, the 76'ers are killing me - TRADE HIM OR PLAY HIM YOU A-HOLES.
7:27
Jack'd Up is now on. I really liked this segment last year, but now it's jut played out to the extreme. Tom Jackson & Michael "it ain't mine, it's my brothers. But not my genetic brother, I mean my fellow black guy brothah" Irvin should never be allowed to talk on TV, take the marbles out of your mouths for the next segment would ya? For God's sake, it's like listening to a foreign language. Steve Young must want to kill himself every single week. Now on Busch Light 2, and no sign on Henne. I'm thinking about ditching him to go to the bar...
7:30
What the fuck is Barrack Obama doing on ESPN? For fuck's sake. I hate him. Why doesn't he get his ass to Washington DC and actually do something other than campaign? He's just such a smug a-hole. He's a slightly darker Joe Buck. Nice, this is followed up by the crappy Belushi brother opening the show. So far - this game sucks.
7:35
Rex Grossman has more turnovers than 12 teams? Well done. I wish Joe Theissman would die. Henne just got here, holy shit. Suzy Kolber is not meant for HD, although...hell of a mullet you're growing there. Henne just pointed out that the mascot at the coin-flip was the mascot for the Post Dispatch (the St. Louis major newspaper). Okay.
7:44
Busch Light 3 - pizza has been ordered. Henne brings up that I still haven't beaten Gears of War after our all nighter. This may be corrected during the weekend. 10 yard completion to Thomas Jones, then a 15 yard taunting penalty. Bears fever, catch it!! Bears first third and long...Grossman hit as the throws, and thank you Jesus it lands on the ground. Henne reminds me of the time we drove down to STL for a Bears/Rams Monday night game and this a-hole sat behind us and just screamed out "URLACHER!!!" after every play. I hated him. We then listened to the Big Willey Style CD as we were stuck in a parking garage and watched two people make out for like 2 hours.
7:48
Walmart commercial on: Henne points out that TV's aren't more expensive at other stores, but it's the fact that Walmart feeds off the souls of little children and poor Democrats in crappy small towns that allows them to sell them so cheap, I love Republicanism. I remember why I wanted to watch this with him. Sweet hoodie "Big Game" Holt, thanks for dressing up for the player intro's
7:53
A skyline shot of STL without the arch being visible? It has to be file footage that they Photoshopped to make it look HD. Grossman scrambles for 20, Theissman points out, "that's how he will get out of this funk. He'll take the ball out of his arm." Do we have Vick or Vince Young as QB suddenly?
7:59
Robbie Gould - no good on the FG attempt. Awesome. Time to go get pizza and stiff the homeless person outside to make myself feel better
8:15
Here's what went through the Domino's employees head when I said my name, "oh shit...totally forgot the cheesy bread." There's nothing like sitting in a Dominos because the stoner behind the counter ate my cheesy bread. I'm now about 20 minutes behind on the DVR. So don't tell me what happens.
8:23
Grossman almost sacked, throws a random pass. Again, happy that it just bounces on the ground. "Gould has never attempted a 50-yard field goal in his career, and this would be 53 yards, so the Bears will punt." How in the hell is he supposed to ATTEMPT HIS FIRST ONE if you don't let him kick?
8:29
Stephen Jackson just ran directly into number 54, and was just stopped dead in his tracks. Also - college cheerleaders = Niiiiice; pro cheerleaders = Argh!! Pro broads look so made up. 4 and 1 on the 20 - Henne says no going for it for the Rams, I say they do.
8:33
They go for it, and convert to the 1. Fuck you Henne. Rams touchdown. 99 yard drive. Ouch. Henne, "With Bruce and Holt as receivers how can this team lose?" The long snapper then botches the extra point snap. That's how.
8:36
That Levi's commercial where the dude steals the jeans off the balcony railing. Those pants must belong to the chick's boyfriend. Hester returns the kick-off for a TD. The "U" baby. Okay, so why did the guy who was screwing the chick not have pants when he leaves? Why are the pants magical? So she just nails the one dude, he leaves as the boyfriend arrives, she then acts all sexy to the boyfriend? And the boyfriend and the "other man" wear the exact same pants size? Nothing about that makes sense to me. That chick is a dirty tramp FYI.
8:41
Wow, the NBA's going back to the old ball. Add that to my list of things I'm thankful for this Christmas... Gus Ferrotte is the Rams' back-up QB? That's unreal. Belushi's in the booth? That's bullshit. He sucks. I wish my brother was a hilarious, comic genius who loved blow a little too much. This game's insane.
8:50
Henne, "That's our number one raft pick right there - Ty Hill." Two seconds later, Benson just bowls over Hill. This launches Henne into a tirade about the Rams' owners. I'm really happy he's so bitter. Belushi's rambling on about how the Cubs' should be winning it all this year due to them spending money. I hate him even more than I thought possible. Quick slant to Berrian, and DAMN HE FAST. Touchdown Bears. 14-13 Bears. Beer time!
8:54
"The fucking game's in St. Louis, and the only press box host they could find from the city is the World Series trophy, and JIM BELUSHI?" We both agree that's an awesome slap in the face that the World Series trophy, and a huge Cubs' fan were in the same room. I hope it made Jim cry. That Playstation 3 commercial with the baby scares the SHIT out of me. That baby's creepier than the Mazda "Zoom, Zoom" kid, and the mirror chick with the elephant for DLP TVs.
9:02
I'm a huge Bears' fan, but that was a fumble from Grossman. This stupid ass rule is ridiculous. If it doesn't look like a pass, then it was a fumble. The pass looked like it went backwards anyways! QB's are so ridiculously protected. You should be allowed to slap people who have signs that spell out ESPN, or FOX, or CBS. I don't know if people hold up signs for NFL NETWORK since we don't get it. If I won the Lotto, I'd create a network called, "BigHomoHere" just to stop people from making those signs.
9:13
Halftime, and wow - Chris Berman, not meant for HD. And Henne needs to go study since he's a lazy ass bum that's still in college. Granted he's going for a Master's of History, but still - get a damn job.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Two Random Incidents
Short post today - So here's a list of what I did yesterday, two of these things do not happen on most days, see if you can pick them out!
- Went to Work
- Had a 2 hours meeting regarding our accruals and EBITDA
- Had lunch with the interns
- A man shot and killed 3 people in the CitiBank building connected to mine
- We had a happy hour after work
- Some friends from home came down and for it
- After that ended we went to a bar in Wrigleyville
- Myself and two of my friends ended up in a gay bar looking for coke
- My internet works
Thursday, December 07, 2006
About Me
This list took me about 4 days to complete. My friend's fiance sent it to me, and said that it's a mandatory thing you have to complete at some point
1. How old will you be in five years? 28
2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today? Sleeping, my last 2 awake hours: Me and H-E-Double N-E, playing XBox 360
3. How tall are you? 5'10''
4. What do you look forward to in the next 6 weeks? Christmas parties, a very special birthday, seeing friends still in college,
5. What's the last movie you saw? I watched Hitch last night, I've got all those dance moves down for my company's party
6. Who is the last person you called? Ms. Teacher
7. Who was the last person to call you? My dad - to discuss White Sox off season moves
8. What was the last text message you received? Coworker telling me she saw a guy peeing on the L and thought of me (not sure how to take that)
9. Do you prefer to call or text? love the text message
10. Do you have any pets? Yes, a Jack Russell named Navona
11. What were you doing at 12am last night? Watching Hitch
12. Are your parents married/separated/divorced? married
13. When is the last time you saw your mom? a week ago
14. What color are your eyes? brown
15. What time did you wake up today? 7 am for a dentist appointment
16. What are you wearing right now? Jeans and a hoodie
17. What's your favorite Christmas song? O' Holy Night by Cartman from South Park - "Jesus was born, and so we give presents..."
18. Where is your favorite place to be? My wonderful bed
19. Where is your least favorite place to be? After today, the dentist (although my dentist looks/talks just like Jeff Foxworthy - I'm not sure if that's a good thing though)
20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere? Back to Rome, and Paris
21. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years? Married with kids - essentially the shell of a man I once was
22. Do you tan or burn? Burn, Burn, Burn, then Tan. Stupid Irish genes
23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? I used to be terrified that the roof would collapse on me
24. What was the last thing that made you laugh? This morning, watching my dog try to navigate a foot of snow to chase birds
25. How many TVs do you have in your house? There are three in my apartment
26. Do you like your job? I love what I do, I'm really lucky in that sense
27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? laptop, a MacBook
28. Do you sleep with or without clothes on? I love sleeping naked - I'll admit it. I know one day that'll bite me in the ass though
29. What color are your sheets? Dark Red - used to be black/white
30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2 very firm pillows
31. What is your favorite season? Baseball
32. What do you like about fall? Leaves changing, chilly nights, tossing the football with friends
33. What do you like about winter? Very little, although I like my winter coat/scarf, football, being with family/friends through the holidays
34. What do you like about the summer? Sitting on my deck writing and reading, festivals in Chicago, having dinner/drinks outside
35. What do you like about spring? Those first few days when you can go outside in jeans and just a sweatshirt, Spring Training,
36. How many states have you lived in? 1
37. What cities/towns have you lived in? Lake Zurich, Chicago, Rome (yeah, that third one's a curve ball)
38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet? Bare feet whenever possible
39. Are you a social person? I am, but I'm also learning how great it is to just be able to relax by myself or with Ms. Teacher or a couple friends
40. What was the last thing you ate? Raisin Bran with a slight tinge of Fluoride
41. What is your favorite restaurant? Considering my job in restaurant marketing, I have a very long list
42. What is your favorite ice cream? Strawberry - especially milk shakes
43. What is your favorite dessert? Chocolate covered strawberries and champagne
44. What is your favorite kind of soup? French Onion/Broccoli & Cheese
45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich? None - I hate PB&J sandwiches
46. Do you like Chinese food? Absolutely!
47. Do you like coffee? I've had maybe 4 sips in my life - I hate it.
48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average? I drink a lot of water at work, I drink that instead of coffee
49. What do you drink in the morning? glass of juice in the morning with my vitamin
50. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? With someone, only 1 person really!
51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? Yes, I sleep on the right side if you're at the foot of the bed looking at it, I also like the "wall-side" if the bed's against the wall
52. Do you know how to play poker? Yes
53. Do you like to cuddle? Embarrassing, but yes I do
54. Have you ever been to Canada? No 'eh
55. Do you have an addictive personality? Yes, 100%
56. Do you eat out or at home more often? Out, I would love to cook more though
58. why is there no 57? because someone probably deleted that question since they didn't want to answer it
59. Do you want kids? Yes, probably 4-5 years
60. Do you speak any other languages? I barely speak English properly most times
61. Have you ever gotten stitches? Yes, wisdom teeth, hernia operations, and knee surgery
62. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Yes, when I was 5 and couldn't swim, and went swimming - guess what happened
63. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool? ocean for the atmosphere, pool for the convenience
64. Do you prefer a window seat or aisle seats? Aisle, my bladder's made of paper, so I usually have to pee on the flight
65. Do you know how to drive stick? No idea
66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on? Books
67. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7? I used to have my tongue pierced, and since then - no. I had a watch that I loved - but I no longer wear it
68. What is your favorite TV show? 24 - next question
69. Can you roll your tongue? Yes
70. Who are the funniest people you know? Me, JP, Ms. Teacher and Sass together, mainly all my friend from home
71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Nope
72. What is the main ring tone on your phone? Vibrate - I hate, hate, hate people that have ring tones. How do you not feel embarrassed when someone calls you and "My Humps" starts coming out of your pocket?
73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little? They've been given to my cousins throughout the years
74. What red object is closest to you right now? The Bring It On DVD...it's my sister's!
75. Do you turn off the water when you brush your teeth? No, I live in Chicago - it's free
76. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Never really paid attention to it, although my closet doors are both mirrors, so my room sorta looks like a porno is being filmed in it when they're both closed
77. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? Bees! I saw a video of a bear yesterday on the Internet, and I'm still not right
78. Do you flirt a lot? People think I do, but I just think I'm wonderful and everyone should get a chance to talk with me
79. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Ketchup, I hate Honey Mustard
80. What is your favorite food? Steak, Lobster, Chicken and Stuffing
81. Can you change the oil on a car? I can, never have done it, but I know how
82. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? Yeah, there was rough patch in my life where I was collecting them like they were Pokemon cards
83. Have you ever run out of gas? No, since there's a gauge on my car that tells me if I'm running low...
84. What is your usual bedtime? Around 11 weekdays, who knows on Weekends
85. What was the last book you read? Freakenomics, and am currently reading Guns, Germs, & Steel
86. Do you read the newspaper? The Redeye, and I hate myself for doing it everyday
87. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? We get so many at work, I usually just steal them.
88. Best comedian? Not really sure, I can never remember their names if I catch them on Comedy Central
89. Do you watch soap operas? No, I have a job
90. Do you dance in the car? A little bit, play a LOT of air drums while driving though
91. What radio station did you last listen to? ESPN Radio, 670 The Score
92. Who is in the picture frame closest to you? Me, my brother, my sister as a gift to my mom
93. What was the last note you scribbled on a piece of paper? When I made my next dentist appointment in 6 months
94. What is your favorite candle scent? Vanilla
95. What is your favorite board game? Risk, Trivial Pursuit, Life, Pictionary
96. When was the last time you attended church? Easter, I have issues
97. Who was your favorite teacher in high school? I really had a lot, I loved High School as a whole - and really feel bad for people that hated their 4 years of High School
98. What is the longest you have ever camped out in a tent? One night, and I hated it.
99. Who was the last person to do something extra special for you? Ms. Teacher
1. How old will you be in five years? 28
2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today? Sleeping, my last 2 awake hours: Me and H-E-Double N-E, playing XBox 360
3. How tall are you? 5'10''
4. What do you look forward to in the next 6 weeks? Christmas parties, a very special birthday, seeing friends still in college,
5. What's the last movie you saw? I watched Hitch last night, I've got all those dance moves down for my company's party
6. Who is the last person you called? Ms. Teacher
7. Who was the last person to call you? My dad - to discuss White Sox off season moves
8. What was the last text message you received? Coworker telling me she saw a guy peeing on the L and thought of me (not sure how to take that)
9. Do you prefer to call or text? love the text message
10. Do you have any pets? Yes, a Jack Russell named Navona
11. What were you doing at 12am last night? Watching Hitch
12. Are your parents married/separated/divorced? married
13. When is the last time you saw your mom? a week ago
14. What color are your eyes? brown
15. What time did you wake up today? 7 am for a dentist appointment
16. What are you wearing right now? Jeans and a hoodie
17. What's your favorite Christmas song? O' Holy Night by Cartman from South Park - "Jesus was born, and so we give presents..."
18. Where is your favorite place to be? My wonderful bed
19. Where is your least favorite place to be? After today, the dentist (although my dentist looks/talks just like Jeff Foxworthy - I'm not sure if that's a good thing though)
20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere? Back to Rome, and Paris
21. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years? Married with kids - essentially the shell of a man I once was
22. Do you tan or burn? Burn, Burn, Burn, then Tan. Stupid Irish genes
23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? I used to be terrified that the roof would collapse on me
24. What was the last thing that made you laugh? This morning, watching my dog try to navigate a foot of snow to chase birds
25. How many TVs do you have in your house? There are three in my apartment
26. Do you like your job? I love what I do, I'm really lucky in that sense
27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? laptop, a MacBook
28. Do you sleep with or without clothes on? I love sleeping naked - I'll admit it. I know one day that'll bite me in the ass though
29. What color are your sheets? Dark Red - used to be black/white
30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2 very firm pillows
31. What is your favorite season? Baseball
32. What do you like about fall? Leaves changing, chilly nights, tossing the football with friends
33. What do you like about winter? Very little, although I like my winter coat/scarf, football, being with family/friends through the holidays
34. What do you like about the summer? Sitting on my deck writing and reading, festivals in Chicago, having dinner/drinks outside
35. What do you like about spring? Those first few days when you can go outside in jeans and just a sweatshirt, Spring Training,
36. How many states have you lived in? 1
37. What cities/towns have you lived in? Lake Zurich, Chicago, Rome (yeah, that third one's a curve ball)
38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet? Bare feet whenever possible
39. Are you a social person? I am, but I'm also learning how great it is to just be able to relax by myself or with Ms. Teacher or a couple friends
40. What was the last thing you ate? Raisin Bran with a slight tinge of Fluoride
41. What is your favorite restaurant? Considering my job in restaurant marketing, I have a very long list
42. What is your favorite ice cream? Strawberry - especially milk shakes
43. What is your favorite dessert? Chocolate covered strawberries and champagne
44. What is your favorite kind of soup? French Onion/Broccoli & Cheese
45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich? None - I hate PB&J sandwiches
46. Do you like Chinese food? Absolutely!
47. Do you like coffee? I've had maybe 4 sips in my life - I hate it.
48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average? I drink a lot of water at work, I drink that instead of coffee
49. What do you drink in the morning? glass of juice in the morning with my vitamin
50. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? With someone, only 1 person really!
51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? Yes, I sleep on the right side if you're at the foot of the bed looking at it, I also like the "wall-side" if the bed's against the wall
52. Do you know how to play poker? Yes
53. Do you like to cuddle? Embarrassing, but yes I do
54. Have you ever been to Canada? No 'eh
55. Do you have an addictive personality? Yes, 100%
56. Do you eat out or at home more often? Out, I would love to cook more though
58. why is there no 57? because someone probably deleted that question since they didn't want to answer it
59. Do you want kids? Yes, probably 4-5 years
60. Do you speak any other languages? I barely speak English properly most times
61. Have you ever gotten stitches? Yes, wisdom teeth, hernia operations, and knee surgery
62. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Yes, when I was 5 and couldn't swim, and went swimming - guess what happened
63. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool? ocean for the atmosphere, pool for the convenience
64. Do you prefer a window seat or aisle seats? Aisle, my bladder's made of paper, so I usually have to pee on the flight
65. Do you know how to drive stick? No idea
66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on? Books
67. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7? I used to have my tongue pierced, and since then - no. I had a watch that I loved - but I no longer wear it
68. What is your favorite TV show? 24 - next question
69. Can you roll your tongue? Yes
70. Who are the funniest people you know? Me, JP, Ms. Teacher and Sass together, mainly all my friend from home
71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Nope
72. What is the main ring tone on your phone? Vibrate - I hate, hate, hate people that have ring tones. How do you not feel embarrassed when someone calls you and "My Humps" starts coming out of your pocket?
73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little? They've been given to my cousins throughout the years
74. What red object is closest to you right now? The Bring It On DVD...it's my sister's!
75. Do you turn off the water when you brush your teeth? No, I live in Chicago - it's free
76. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Never really paid attention to it, although my closet doors are both mirrors, so my room sorta looks like a porno is being filmed in it when they're both closed
77. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? Bees! I saw a video of a bear yesterday on the Internet, and I'm still not right
78. Do you flirt a lot? People think I do, but I just think I'm wonderful and everyone should get a chance to talk with me
79. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Ketchup, I hate Honey Mustard
80. What is your favorite food? Steak, Lobster, Chicken and Stuffing
81. Can you change the oil on a car? I can, never have done it, but I know how
82. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? Yeah, there was rough patch in my life where I was collecting them like they were Pokemon cards
83. Have you ever run out of gas? No, since there's a gauge on my car that tells me if I'm running low...
84. What is your usual bedtime? Around 11 weekdays, who knows on Weekends
85. What was the last book you read? Freakenomics, and am currently reading Guns, Germs, & Steel
86. Do you read the newspaper? The Redeye, and I hate myself for doing it everyday
87. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? We get so many at work, I usually just steal them.
88. Best comedian? Not really sure, I can never remember their names if I catch them on Comedy Central
89. Do you watch soap operas? No, I have a job
90. Do you dance in the car? A little bit, play a LOT of air drums while driving though
91. What radio station did you last listen to? ESPN Radio, 670 The Score
92. Who is in the picture frame closest to you? Me, my brother, my sister as a gift to my mom
93. What was the last note you scribbled on a piece of paper? When I made my next dentist appointment in 6 months
94. What is your favorite candle scent? Vanilla
95. What is your favorite board game? Risk, Trivial Pursuit, Life, Pictionary
96. When was the last time you attended church? Easter, I have issues
97. Who was your favorite teacher in high school? I really had a lot, I loved High School as a whole - and really feel bad for people that hated their 4 years of High School
98. What is the longest you have ever camped out in a tent? One night, and I hated it.
99. Who was the last person to do something extra special for you? Ms. Teacher
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Right Now
Just a short post since our internet connection decided that it would go ahead and take this weekend off. And so it wasn't lonely, it talked the digital cable into leaving as well. I'm typing this out in TextEdit, and will attempt to load it on essentially my 56k connection.
Had the first real run-in with The Ex this weekend. We had a "reunion" of people I studied in Rome with on Friday. Since it was a "Rome" reunion, we had it at this little shitty irish bar in the middle of nowhere. It started at 8, I got there around 8:20 and was the second person there. By 9 there were about four people there. Luckily they are good friends of mine, so it wasn't a super awkward situation with us sitting around a table not having seen one another in at least a year.
It was good to see The Ex though. We talked, caught up on things we had heard about the other person, talked about extended family, etc. It was good to see her, to talk, and to realize that there is nothing between us anymore. I loved what we had, and I think I'll always care about her - but our relationship wasn't what either of us really wanted. And I'll never be what she wants, and she will never be what I want.
The next night I went out with Ms. Teacher and her friends, and it was just like night-and-day to Friday. What I have right now is exactly what I want, and I wouldn't change anything about it.
Had the first real run-in with The Ex this weekend. We had a "reunion" of people I studied in Rome with on Friday. Since it was a "Rome" reunion, we had it at this little shitty irish bar in the middle of nowhere. It started at 8, I got there around 8:20 and was the second person there. By 9 there were about four people there. Luckily they are good friends of mine, so it wasn't a super awkward situation with us sitting around a table not having seen one another in at least a year.
It was good to see The Ex though. We talked, caught up on things we had heard about the other person, talked about extended family, etc. It was good to see her, to talk, and to realize that there is nothing between us anymore. I loved what we had, and I think I'll always care about her - but our relationship wasn't what either of us really wanted. And I'll never be what she wants, and she will never be what I want.
The next night I went out with Ms. Teacher and her friends, and it was just like night-and-day to Friday. What I have right now is exactly what I want, and I wouldn't change anything about it.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Faith
I was raised Catholic, baptised when I was a baby. I went to a Catholic school from kindergarten through High School. I went to a Jesuit college. Growing up I was an alter server, a lecturer, a cross bearer, and led retreats for teens making their Confirmation. I've studied more Catholic dogma than most people. And you know what, I just do not understand the Church at all, and I don't understand how people can blindly follow a faith without questioning aspects of it.
I loved that when The Da Vinci Code came out, it got everyone up into a tizzy because of the "ideas" that Dan Brown brought to the masses. People who had never truly cared to learn about their faith was appalled that there are factions like Opus Dei that believe the same facts that they do. People acted like this was either something Brown created, or something that the Church would never be associated with. I first learned about the faith in college since in the early 1900's the Jesuits were the leaders who warned of the problems they saw in the faith. It's funny to that Pope John Paul II (who most Catholics, and non-Catholics revere most of all), was a fierce supporter of Opus Dei. People read the book and jumped to all these conclusions about how "evil" the faith was, without ever really looking/reading into anything - which is my major qualm with the Faith.
The Catholic faith has a problem with people questioning aspects of it. They are fiercely protective of everything they represent and their past. In the end, would it really matter if Jesus was one hundred percent human? If he was man, like anyone you see on the street? Would people stop believing, and living their life a certain way if Jesus was created just like every other person in the world was? Would people just start slaughtering others in the street if Jesus had been married and had children? Would people really let that cloud their entire view of the faith, and what it means to them? Faith is what's important. Being a good person is what's important. It doesn't matter how many rosaries you say, or how much you put in the basket each week. Those are aspects of the Church, not of the Faith.
If we could prove today that Jesus was a man, he had married a woman, and had a child, and was crucified - would this affect your beliefs? I believe that it wouldn't - it would shake up organized religion, but would it affect people spiritually. I believe this would lead more people to the faith, as opposed to the mass exodus from the Church that is seen today. The fact that the Church refuses to be able to say that nothing of the Bible should be taken word for word, to accept modern day beliefs regarding birth control, marriage, sexual orientation, etc is why you see so few twenty-year olds in Church on any given Sunday. The Church teeters on becoming completely irrelevant to the next generation, and that's the start of an avalanche. Even today, most Churches have at least one priest from outside the United States. I don't see this ever being reversed in the current form. A CEO of a company that makes $10 billion a year can have a wife, and children - even though he works long hours and probably travels a great deal. I'm sure his wife/kids would say that he devotes too much time to work. Yet the Church cannot see how someone could have a family and be a priest?
I loved that when The Da Vinci Code came out, it got everyone up into a tizzy because of the "ideas" that Dan Brown brought to the masses. People who had never truly cared to learn about their faith was appalled that there are factions like Opus Dei that believe the same facts that they do. People acted like this was either something Brown created, or something that the Church would never be associated with. I first learned about the faith in college since in the early 1900's the Jesuits were the leaders who warned of the problems they saw in the faith. It's funny to that Pope John Paul II (who most Catholics, and non-Catholics revere most of all), was a fierce supporter of Opus Dei. People read the book and jumped to all these conclusions about how "evil" the faith was, without ever really looking/reading into anything - which is my major qualm with the Faith.
The Catholic faith has a problem with people questioning aspects of it. They are fiercely protective of everything they represent and their past. In the end, would it really matter if Jesus was one hundred percent human? If he was man, like anyone you see on the street? Would people stop believing, and living their life a certain way if Jesus was created just like every other person in the world was? Would people just start slaughtering others in the street if Jesus had been married and had children? Would people really let that cloud their entire view of the faith, and what it means to them? Faith is what's important. Being a good person is what's important. It doesn't matter how many rosaries you say, or how much you put in the basket each week. Those are aspects of the Church, not of the Faith.
If we could prove today that Jesus was a man, he had married a woman, and had a child, and was crucified - would this affect your beliefs? I believe that it wouldn't - it would shake up organized religion, but would it affect people spiritually. I believe this would lead more people to the faith, as opposed to the mass exodus from the Church that is seen today. The fact that the Church refuses to be able to say that nothing of the Bible should be taken word for word, to accept modern day beliefs regarding birth control, marriage, sexual orientation, etc is why you see so few twenty-year olds in Church on any given Sunday. The Church teeters on becoming completely irrelevant to the next generation, and that's the start of an avalanche. Even today, most Churches have at least one priest from outside the United States. I don't see this ever being reversed in the current form. A CEO of a company that makes $10 billion a year can have a wife, and children - even though he works long hours and probably travels a great deal. I'm sure his wife/kids would say that he devotes too much time to work. Yet the Church cannot see how someone could have a family and be a priest?
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Christmas Decorations
Okay, two days past Thanksgiving, and the world is already a wash in crappy Christmas decorations. Last night, I was forced to drive because I didn't want to arrive at my friend's house early (although that's always the case for me), and there are just a lot of really ugly-ass decorations. Granted, it doesn't help that the weather here in Chicago has been absolutely beautiful the past couple of days - thus giving every family ample time to throw a whole bunch of crap against the wall and sees what stays up.
People that only put up white lights.
Oh wow, that's so artistic! Yeah, that looks great. So now when the snow falls, it'll all just glow. Yeah, colors are stupid. Why make the house look festive and fun, you stick with your "artistic" look. I see people everyday that choose that look, they make coffee at Starbucks and write poetry for a living. Your house is the loser house on the block. And for God's sake, did you have to make sure to wrap lights around all 10 fucking reindeer in front of the house? What are they doing? I don't even see a Santa. They're just milling around your yard. If a real deer did that, you'd shoot it - but since they're wire frames - light those bastards up!
People who put Nativity scenes up.
First off, congrats on remembering what this holiday was originally about - Jesus being born to Mary and Joseph at the North Pole. But you forgot one thing - Jesus was born on Christmas - not the Saturday after Thanksgiving, so put the baby inside - you probably can't receive Communion if you put him out early. You know the local High Schoolers are just going to snatch it one night during the classic game: what to do when stoned and bored. I also like how the three Magi are White, Black, and slightly Hispanic/Asian. You know what I'm guessing they looked like - how about pretty much everyone from that area currently looks. There was not a pasty, red-haired Virgin anywhere in that whole area prior to airplanes landing there.
Giant inflatable Santa, Snowmen, Grinches, Jesus, etc.
Seriously? You spent money on that? And you pay to run a motor to keep the damn thing inflated all day? Nice. Nothing says, "Christmas Time!" quite like a 12 foot high Santa swaying in the wind. Oh very nice, you have the entire set. Santa, Mrs. Clause, TWO Reindeer, and a Snowman. I'm just guessing you're hosting a lot of parties in December, and aren't good at direction. So you can tell them the general area, and just be like, "Look for the house with nine inflatable pieces of Pagan Idolatry out in front." This can not be balanced out with a Nativity scene.
People that have giant Snow globes that are also inflatable.
"Hi, I'm with the A-Hole Department, we'd love to let you in!" Hey dip-shit, we live in Chicago - the entire God damn city because a giant snow globe for weeks at a time. You'll get to drive the entire way to work in a snow globe next month! I'm guessing you're not going to be as cheery as those three squirrel's in ski-hats dancing around Frosty though. I just hope I'm driving by one day when you're ass is shoveling your driveway and that things lit up.
People with Blinking Lights.
Unless you live near O'Hare and just want to fuck with pilots - turn the damn blinking lights off. They just distract me, and will defiantly possible contribute to the stoner's who stole your neighbor's baby Jesus accident. If you don't want to pay the massive electricity bill from keeping the lights on at night, do us all a favor - take them down.
People who create Christmas Movies.
Every January, Tim Allen must resend the same note to movie studios, "I have naked pictures of your head exec's daughter - allow me to make another Santa Clause movie." Christmas movies suck for the most part - National Lampoon's Holiday Vacation, Nightmare Before Christmas, Requiem for a Dream, Home Alone, and all your Holiday Classics being the exceptions. But it seems like every year there's some new movie where two neighbors attempt to claim the title of Neighborhood Jack-Ass by attempting to out decorate the neighbor. Come up with something original: neighbors who have high-speed car chances to a brothel full of smokingly hot girl in only Santa hats that are smoking pot and cracking one liners about The Santa Clause 2. Then have Jack Bauer make a cameo and scream out, "WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME BEFORE CHRISTMAS." This would then lead to shoot-out with Jewish, Muslim, and Kwanzian people who were attempting to poison the unleavened bread for an entire town in order to stop Christmas from being celebrated. I need to copyright this idea before someone jacks it our from under me.
People who say Happy Holidays the day before Christmas
If I walk into a department store, and was greeted with "Happy Hanukkah" I would not be offended to the point that I would boycott the store. I would probably say, "I'm actually here to spend money, so I am not celebrating Hanukkah, but Christmas." If we're already past Hanukkah, and I have no idea when Kwanzaa is - and I'm running around like an a-hole in the mall with 3.4 million other people on December 23, GUESS WHAT I'M HERE FOR. I'm here because I forgot to buy a present for someone who gave me one: my mom was this last year, shut up - I don't know how I spaced that bad, but I did.
People that only put up white lights.
Oh wow, that's so artistic! Yeah, that looks great. So now when the snow falls, it'll all just glow. Yeah, colors are stupid. Why make the house look festive and fun, you stick with your "artistic" look. I see people everyday that choose that look, they make coffee at Starbucks and write poetry for a living. Your house is the loser house on the block. And for God's sake, did you have to make sure to wrap lights around all 10 fucking reindeer in front of the house? What are they doing? I don't even see a Santa. They're just milling around your yard. If a real deer did that, you'd shoot it - but since they're wire frames - light those bastards up!
People who put Nativity scenes up.
First off, congrats on remembering what this holiday was originally about - Jesus being born to Mary and Joseph at the North Pole. But you forgot one thing - Jesus was born on Christmas - not the Saturday after Thanksgiving, so put the baby inside - you probably can't receive Communion if you put him out early. You know the local High Schoolers are just going to snatch it one night during the classic game: what to do when stoned and bored. I also like how the three Magi are White, Black, and slightly Hispanic/Asian. You know what I'm guessing they looked like - how about pretty much everyone from that area currently looks. There was not a pasty, red-haired Virgin anywhere in that whole area prior to airplanes landing there.
Giant inflatable Santa, Snowmen, Grinches, Jesus, etc.
Seriously? You spent money on that? And you pay to run a motor to keep the damn thing inflated all day? Nice. Nothing says, "Christmas Time!" quite like a 12 foot high Santa swaying in the wind. Oh very nice, you have the entire set. Santa, Mrs. Clause, TWO Reindeer, and a Snowman. I'm just guessing you're hosting a lot of parties in December, and aren't good at direction. So you can tell them the general area, and just be like, "Look for the house with nine inflatable pieces of Pagan Idolatry out in front." This can not be balanced out with a Nativity scene.
People that have giant Snow globes that are also inflatable.
"Hi, I'm with the A-Hole Department, we'd love to let you in!" Hey dip-shit, we live in Chicago - the entire God damn city because a giant snow globe for weeks at a time. You'll get to drive the entire way to work in a snow globe next month! I'm guessing you're not going to be as cheery as those three squirrel's in ski-hats dancing around Frosty though. I just hope I'm driving by one day when you're ass is shoveling your driveway and that things lit up.
People with Blinking Lights.
Unless you live near O'Hare and just want to fuck with pilots - turn the damn blinking lights off. They just distract me, and will defiantly possible contribute to the stoner's who stole your neighbor's baby Jesus accident. If you don't want to pay the massive electricity bill from keeping the lights on at night, do us all a favor - take them down.
People who create Christmas Movies.
Every January, Tim Allen must resend the same note to movie studios, "I have naked pictures of your head exec's daughter - allow me to make another Santa Clause movie." Christmas movies suck for the most part - National Lampoon's Holiday Vacation, Nightmare Before Christmas, Requiem for a Dream, Home Alone, and all your Holiday Classics being the exceptions. But it seems like every year there's some new movie where two neighbors attempt to claim the title of Neighborhood Jack-Ass by attempting to out decorate the neighbor. Come up with something original: neighbors who have high-speed car chances to a brothel full of smokingly hot girl in only Santa hats that are smoking pot and cracking one liners about The Santa Clause 2. Then have Jack Bauer make a cameo and scream out, "WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME BEFORE CHRISTMAS." This would then lead to shoot-out with Jewish, Muslim, and Kwanzian people who were attempting to poison the unleavened bread for an entire town in order to stop Christmas from being celebrated. I need to copyright this idea before someone jacks it our from under me.
People who say Happy Holidays the day before Christmas
If I walk into a department store, and was greeted with "Happy Hanukkah" I would not be offended to the point that I would boycott the store. I would probably say, "I'm actually here to spend money, so I am not celebrating Hanukkah, but Christmas." If we're already past Hanukkah, and I have no idea when Kwanzaa is - and I'm running around like an a-hole in the mall with 3.4 million other people on December 23, GUESS WHAT I'M HERE FOR. I'm here because I forgot to buy a present for someone who gave me one: my mom was this last year, shut up - I don't know how I spaced that bad, but I did.
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